Saturday, January 10, 2009

When Classic Literature meets Reality T.V.

I hold the belief that reality television would have spared classic writers the agony of starvation if it had come a couple of centuries earlier.Here's what reality T.V. would have done to some of my favorites.

Jane Austen- The undisputed queen of the love lorn.The witty producer behind the likes of 'The Bachelor'.There would have been a heavy demand for corsets,tea sets,pretty damsels and innuendos.

George Orwell- The mind behind 'Big Brother' and the relentless stalking camera.The contestants of Orwell's show wouldn't have felt the need to feign discomfort at the very blatant invasion of space.The necessity of having a celebrity version would have been close to nil as the regular version would have been invasive enough.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The relentless genius behind 'The Moment of Truth', with the exception that the questions would relate more to the strength human conviction than the wringing of filthy linen on T.V.

Franz Kafka- 'Existential Survivor'. Need I say more?

Ayn Rand- A force to reckon with.The lady who would make many a spine shudder with the ghastly 'you're fired' in the objectivist version of 'The Apprentice'.Donald Trump are you listening?

Oscar Wilde - Simon Cowell step aside you are nothing in front of Mr. Wilde! The judge on Idol who takes meanness to a whole new level.If you thought 'musical hara kiri' was a witty euphemism for bad singing, think again.It would have been the age of 'All good singers are good in the same way.Each bad singer is uniquely bad'.

It's a pity most writers live ahead of their time.

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