Sunday, September 07, 2008

How to act like a Diva

Here's a little skit I've prepared on the basis of real life events.These are dramatized transcripts of actual events that occurred yesterday evening.

The Discussion on Matrimony- Or Futile Attempts made with the Intention of Altering the Marital Status of the Diva

The Setting: The characters are seated around a dining table. The table is set for three.There are two dogs sleeping blissfully,unaware of the gravity of the conversation that is about to ensue.The atmosphere is informal and there are bits and pieces of the regular dinnertime banter, till it all starts to go frightfully awry.

The Characters:

Mom: A well meaning,generally progressive and Web 2.0 challenged professor of Physics in her fifties.She was married at the age of 23

Dad: A well meaning,generally progressive,professor of Electronics touching sixty and possessing better Web 2.0 skills than his better half. He was married at the age of 26.

The Diva:The irreverent author of this blog, who is too vain to disclose her exact age.She is somewhere in her twenties and has a job(the blog doesn't generate any revenue in case you were wondering); which,in Indian terms, implies that she is 'marriageable'.

Act I Scene I

Mom: You know, my friend's son just got engaged to a girl who's two years your junior.Isn't it time we started looking for a suitable match for you? Why don't we create a profile for you at shaadi.com,simplymarry.com or one of those matrimonial websites?

The Diva (rolling her eyes): If you want to start looking you may start looking without any assistance from me.You may turn on the computer yourself,login and create profiles all by yourself.

Mom: Oh, I will take dad's help.

(Dad has remained unperturbed and amused all along.)

The Diva:I cannot guarantee that I will get married right away,I need at least two years for consideration.

Mom: If you want to get married in two years time, we need to start looking now.

The Diva: I don't wish to marry young.I lack the maturity. I think thirty would be the right age to get married, right dad?

Dad(diplomatically): I don't believe in forcing people to do things they don't want to do.

Mom: By the time you turn thirty all the nice boys will be taken.You know all the best girls and boys get married when they're in their twenties.

The Diva:In that case,I do not wish to be married.I'd like to keep my space,individuality and peace of mind.

Mom:You need someone to look after you. I cannot die in peace if you don't get married.

The Diva: In that case please feel free to live forever!

(Mom grimaces,while dad and Diva burst into peals of laughter)

The skit never ends.Till the next act,it's curtain call time!

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