Tuesday, October 02, 2007

A Vacation in Divaland : Why it never Happens

Jerome K. Jerome has inspired many a soul in Divaland to attempt a vacation of the 'Three Men in a Boat' type. Except that the people in Divaland are more conscientious of the choices they make being the control freaks that they are. Since Divaland exists in my head and so do all its citizens, I take sole responsibility for this fictitious piece of not-so-wishful thinking.

The proposed vacation will be taken on the banks of a secluded lake. Since I don't own a boat, I will drive to the spot.

List of things(and creatures) to be taken(assuming that the car has enough room for all of them)

Two dogs(at least)
A waterproof tent
A novel
A portable gas stove
A portable oven
A bag of pasta
A bag of vegetables
A chunk of cheese
Crockery and cutlery
A sketchbook
A decent supply of pencils,erasers and pencil sharpeners
A box of watercolours and brushes of all sizes
The new eau de toilet collection
A blanket and mattress
Insect repellent and a rat trap
A supply of dog food and toys

Fatalism: why it always fails

The dogs tend to get sick of eating dog food after a day or two.They start to realize that 'human food' and the human way of living is far more gratifying than anything characteristically canine. The dogs will go on an indefinite hunger strike till restored to their original state with a dose of macaroni and cheese. Cooking on a portable stove is not that pleasant. One can only cook a small bit at a time. The kitchen equipment tends to get a little tedious and the diva can hardly show off her prowess as a star chef.

The portable oven is never of any use as there isn't enough battery supply to bake anything.(One must never risk using the car battery for one's culinary needs.)The eau de toilet, the novel and the sketchbook are probably the only things that offer comfort to a diva stranded by a lake with two uncooperative dogs. As if that weren't enough;I haven't mentioned the perils of transporting the dogs and all the equipment to the vacation site.

At the end of all this consideration one realizes that pure bliss can be found in the comfort of one's own backyard on any day of the week and at any time of the day. Even the dogs seem to agree!

Moral of the story- No wonder people in Divaland have such nice backyards!

1 comment:

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