When literary giants (the ones of medium stature, not small enough to be insignificant and not large enough to be humble) speak in alien tongues, they often confound the masses in order to mask the juvenile sense of what they truly intend to say. Read on for some clarity as the Diva attempts to decrypt 'writergab'.
'Writers block' - A phenomenon used by the Hollywood blockbuster to exonerate the shallow screenwriter. This form of comic relief can also be adopted by struggling writers who don't have a 'masterpiece' and need the most lame excuse to explain their condition.
'The creative process' - A phrase used when writers use tissues, table napkins, and discarded pieces of paper to chronicle their thoughts. (Shhhh! Don't bring up the word processor!)
'Literary genius'- Someone who says 'I need a fair cup of inspiration to stir my soul' instead of saying 'One cup of coffee please'.
'Poetic License' - Not all writers excell in spelling and grammar, but publishers will cut them some slack if they call it 'poetry'.
'Coffee' - It really means coffee, but all writers love to come across as caffine addicts. After all, a caffine addiction is legal and adorable. (Writers like coffee because Red Bull is illegal in some countries.)
'Existentialism' - When a writer claims to be an existentialist, it means that he or she has written the most meaningless mangle of words ever.
'Metaphor' - The signature of literary genius. (Refer to the definition of 'literary genius' given above.)
To be continued....