La Diva: Inept Attempts at a Self Portrait....
Take 1: No lines, no paint, only a diva with a broken pencil and a torn canvas.
Take 2: The pencil is not broken (its a 2b) but the canvas needs to be fixed. The diva has found some paint.
Take 3: A new canvas and more paint, Diva decides to discard the pencil and use a knife instead.
Take 4: The paint is mixed, Diva abandons knife and paints with fingers.
Take 5: Fingers are a mess, Diva turns to Prima Donna and starts muttering about how oil paints should come with a free satchet of turpentine.
Take 6: Diva looks at Self Portrait...it bears no resemblance. Diva decides to abandon self portrait and keep fingers and surroundings clean instead.
Take 7: The self portrait remains incomplete...
No wonder divas laugh at the world more often than they laugh at themselves!